tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32490555479494934262024-02-02T03:40:28.902-06:00On the Road to FreedomWherever yo go, there you are.objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-22637697798195520322017-03-13T13:08:00.000-05:002017-03-13T13:08:29.963-05:00Number three turns three<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkUmLOTjvWr0lhyphenhyphenIWR2IuQ8uq20nPYc9sc0y_FXWPcX93LKl3UmSs5WyhjXHj6LQLUrPqWGz21R6pySsLt3L2M_MJ6Ei_gUdJkKq-I5xXjnRBez581VIzdpFP1EzLgajfESZUjtYw_7hZW/s1600/IMAG3145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkUmLOTjvWr0lhyphenhyphenIWR2IuQ8uq20nPYc9sc0y_FXWPcX93LKl3UmSs5WyhjXHj6LQLUrPqWGz21R6pySsLt3L2M_MJ6Ei_gUdJkKq-I5xXjnRBez581VIzdpFP1EzLgajfESZUjtYw_7hZW/s320/IMAG3145.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This little baby is 3 years old today. After E was born I had a scary moment and my hormones and weight have been out of whack. We have stopped trying to have babies for the time being and just recently have I started to see the numbers on the scale go down rather than up. I can't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs! Last week I hit 198, phew! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">E is a very special little girl who is so different than her sisters. We love her dearly. she is soft spoken and 90% of the time she is awake she is fussing about something, so she's become Grumpy Smurf. Her appetite is not at all like that of her sisters and is very frustrating for everyone to be around during meal times as she usually refuses all foods.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">P is almost 7 and L is 5. They are so much fun until bedtime comes around and L refuses to go to bed, she always has something going on that prevents her from relaxing, there are tears almost every night since she was born. That's a lot of nights. My husband and I have looked at older photos of us and boy do we look old and tired. Thank you, L!! She will start Kindergarten next fall and is very bright and kind, curious and VERY funny.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> P is a joy, since she was born she's been mostly adorable. She started Kinder last fall and totally LOVES school. She has so much fun and is a good friend and student. She enjoys chess, playing on her computer, reads 100 books in a week, (if we counted I'm sure she does), and learning everything about everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have many ups and downs. Still trying to deal with the sense of dread and failure. And what shall I do with my life other than be a mom and a very bad wife and house keeper. I hate cleaning, for example. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I work part time here and there, have no future goals other than make a bit of money to pay bills and extras. Not much of a career. I have been "just" an employee of some kind or another that I have no sense of what I imagined my professional life to be when I used to dream about anything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am a lousy spouse, as I lack any affection toward my husband. I guess we give what we get and for so long I have gotten no affection other than when sex is requested or expected that I just avoid it altogether. YUCK. My weight and self esteem has totally played a part in this as I feel very uncomfortable baring it all. I don't know what it is to live with me but I imagine it must be nice at times but horrible most of the time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I guess this took an unexpected turn. I wanted to write about my "baby" turning 3, and I ended on a sad note. The power of letting it out I guess. I shouldn't stop it. I tried to write a few weeks ago but for the life of me I couldn't even remember how to log into my blog account. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It is clear I am still on the road to freedom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Peace~</span></div>
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objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-46518576384413805542015-12-21T10:44:00.003-06:002015-12-21T10:44:37.845-06:00My delicious meatballsI had been trying to find the right recipe for meatballs. I recently came up with our ultimate favorite.<br />
People use either breadcrumbs or oatmeal in their meatballs. I have used both lately. as well as beef and Italian sausage. The result has been these delicious moist and tasty meatballs that our middle child loves. She has severe food allergies, it is hard to find something she may and want to eat. She<br />
always asks for spaghetti and meatballs.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeiqIP7ExNCnaCdkED9TgZ0Vq__JB8VbNjzPoULoUr-bitoASU2t1RlFOSwTQN9tTljDo2BcMXhqRA_Gg5T69ZCsSVwKz__HZghvjoMwRTyxBeQ4EOx0vu44csXxulHe9EAqip11SDbSM4/s1600/746951151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeiqIP7ExNCnaCdkED9TgZ0Vq__JB8VbNjzPoULoUr-bitoASU2t1RlFOSwTQN9tTljDo2BcMXhqRA_Gg5T69ZCsSVwKz__HZghvjoMwRTyxBeQ4EOx0vu44csXxulHe9EAqip11SDbSM4/s320/746951151.jpg" width="320" /></a>1.5 lb lean ground beef<br />
1 lb Italian sausage (we like hot)<br />
1/2 c breadcrumbs<br />
1/2 c old fashioned oats<br />
3/4 c water<br />
1/2 c Parmesan<br />
1/2 tsp salt<br />
1/2 tsp pepper<br />
1 tbsp oregano or Italian seasoning herbs<br />
2 tbsp olive oil<br />
1/2 to 1 cup beef broth<br />
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Mix everything and make meatballs no larger than 2 inches, heat 12 in. skillet with no more than 2 tbsp olive oil. Add meatballs and pan fry on medium heat until brown an all sides; then pour the beef broth (eyeball it), lower the heat to medium low, cover, and let cook for a good 10 to 15 minutes. You may turn the meatballs now and then, but it is good to let the steam make them juicier. You may nestle them in the tomato sauce if you are having spaghetti and meatballs, or do as we do and place your cooked noodles in the bowl, then the meatballs then pour tomato sauce over your pasta. Sprinkle with fresh grated Romano, pecorino or Parmesan and enjoy!<br />
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P.S. We sometimes use left over meatballs and half-homemade tomato sauce for sandwiches on crunchy french bread with melted mozzarella or provolone. I will post the tomato sauce recipe some other time.<br />
objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-46562915415764307602015-12-09T12:13:00.000-06:002015-12-09T12:13:01.182-06:00Hello...it's me, Envious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh_6Nx4AFWWvtgK-gNitlIqFdVaVIap3fEtFoy721ETTlXWIb7nAJJf4DolepTMsn8M3Ischlj9HNTfroUcnuWSUsWwMGuEL67o6PUUG22EhqOvLERk9p2WiRg2QXqKIj86zERS4lYKkBC/s1600/olaf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh_6Nx4AFWWvtgK-gNitlIqFdVaVIap3fEtFoy721ETTlXWIb7nAJJf4DolepTMsn8M3Ischlj9HNTfroUcnuWSUsWwMGuEL67o6PUUG22EhqOvLERk9p2WiRg2QXqKIj86zERS4lYKkBC/s320/olaf.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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Mirror, mirror on the Wall, who's the happiest of them all?</div>
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I am so envious. And bitter, and struggling with good stuff. The dread is large and so is the debt. It imprisons and chokes and if you suffer in a vicious cycle well then there is no end. Anxiety has been rampant and my heart can't catch a break, it's hard to breathe and counting pennies is so sad.<br />
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I wish I had more joyous word after so much time. I may share some recent recipes instead of pouring out my loneliness and stormy thoughts. Happy <a href="http://www.catholic.org/saints/sofd.php?date=2015-12-09" target="_blank">Feast of Saint Juan Diego</a>. May his intercession and Our Lady's reach Jesus' ears fast!objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-83805332499181430192013-08-31T11:01:00.001-05:002013-08-31T11:01:59.442-05:00Craving lemon pie<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">This past week, I was craving lemon pie, but more precisely, a lemon dessert I used to eat in Mexico all the time, called Carlota de Limon, made with galletas Marias and a lime cream made with lime (or lemon) juice, condensed milk and evaporated milk, super easy. And since my daughter is allergic to eggs, no way I'm making lemon pie anytime soon. In order to satisfy the craving, I'm making the Mexican dessert today, after posting this entry. Thank God I found a recipe here: </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; line-height: 24px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lasdeliciasdevivir.net/search?q=carlota+de+lim%C3%B3n" style="color: #85d1d1; font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">Carlota de limón</a><span style="font-size: x-small;"> and I will live happily ever after this weekend :) </span></span></span><br />
<img height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-naP-MGr5sRo/T8wHsEP_E2I/AAAAAAAAEXo/gV4Nn-RmY_8/s320/IMG_6365b.JPG" width="213" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; line-height: 24px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">By the way, I am so excited and happy to have found Las Delicias del Buen Vivir blog!!!</span></span></span>objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-6137022791673408232013-08-28T19:25:00.000-05:002013-08-28T19:29:37.421-05:00Lately<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I stopped posting on fb about what meals I was preparing most every night after the ugly "quinoa meatball class" incident. See, I still get very angry and anxious when thoughts about the incident's perpetrator come out of the depth. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">By elimination, I then assumed that if I stopped posting about the meals no one else would ask me to teach anyone else how to make my strange concoctions. But the thing is, that I ENJOY posting about my meals, and if by doing so others have been inspired to either do a meatless day of their week, or eat more "weird" foods, that makes me smile a little. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So here are meals we've tried lately:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Eggplants with potatoes in pita pockets. The potatoes were awesome. The eggplants are not my husband's favorite but he still ate a lot of this :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Black eyed peas with greens over couscous. I tried this recipe </span><a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=16&cad=rja&ved=0CE0QFjAFOAo&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2009%2F10%2F27%2Fhealth%2Fnutrition%2F27recipehealth.html&ei=iZAeUoetKOfX2QXdtIGQBw&usg=AFQjCNFkE3KDCPOiD5Dy_Ypn6u1Lja0A2A&sig2=_nJ3_Hb5BCAVmi6r49gmxA" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Black</span>-<span style="font-weight: bold;">Eyed Peas</span> With Collard <span style="font-weight: bold;">Greens</span> - The New York Times</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and served over couscous.</span><img height="216" src="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/10/27/health/27recipelhealth_600/articleLarge.jpg" width="320" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #171717; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 1.05; text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #171717; line-height: 1.05; text-align: center;">Basmati rice and Chickpea and spinach stew. I used this recipe </span><a class="x4-editorial-tout-headline-clickable-75x75" href="http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chickpea-spinach-curry-10000000354461/" style="color: #cc0000; cursor: pointer;">Chickpea and Spinach Curry</a> and served over basmati rice. </span><img alt="Chickpea Curry with Basmati Rice Recipe" src="http://img4-2.myrecipes.timeinc.net/i/recipes/ck/13/01/chickpea-curry-basmati-rice-ck-l.jpg" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Penne rigate with sweet corn, zucchini, mushrooms and onions. I used my head to figure this one out :) I seasoned with oregano, sea salt and pepper.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When the baby was sick I made it a point to mix cut up peaches with fresh raspberries and drizzle with honey, since raspberries help the lungs recover. We all loved this simple dessert. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Unfortunately, these dished have not been favorites in our house, but I'm glad we tried them. I did love the black eyed peas and I might serve them over rice when I make it again.</span></div>
objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-60183554451654546632013-06-08T00:49:00.001-05:002013-06-08T00:49:25.605-05:00Subject: catch up<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370669983207_1911" style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-size: 12px;">
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<b id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370669983207_2010" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Subject:</b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">catch up</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Heyo… I was just thinking that I really hope we can catch up this weekend, seems like a lifetime since I last saw you </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Having and keeping and nurturing friends as a grown up, busy, crazy, mom is so darn challenging! I feel like I only have a handful of true friends left, but they live so far away and I only have contact with them online, that’s when facebook is a wonder; basically, I only have you here in town and A, but she is gone until the end of the month! See the thing is that slowly, all the gals who I thought were friends since moving here have left my life mostly because even after demonstrating how much I cared about them, I don’t think they have understood the way I am and the boundaries I actually do set as the friendship progresses. However sad it has been I’ve also been angry and disappointed with their attitudes and in the end, my mom is right, in friendship as in any other relationship, when we let people go we realize how important our presence is in their lives when no matter what you stick around for each other. I believe you and I have remained friends thus far because we both respect the other’s limits, understand that work, husbands and daughters take our energy and we sometimes fear we’re going mad(der) and we both want the other to get to heaven!! That’s what we’re about. I love you. I hope we stay friends a long time.</span></div>
objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-46062321105082805032013-06-03T23:40:00.001-05:002013-06-03T23:51:27.463-05:00Turning two was so easy. Three is showing its ugly face.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikoW-fsJvfy-4T6lklw72VLyMRP2NT5keHwJ1q142cRfNSHFVXDubUpdEsUCiVhiU87p46qzzLZcU9XYU8iptEbZpcsq6neA-NfMq09leTeO83VoZlXrrp24TC_2cdLhGMMBkihg8DAU2n/s1600/piafrown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikoW-fsJvfy-4T6lklw72VLyMRP2NT5keHwJ1q142cRfNSHFVXDubUpdEsUCiVhiU87p46qzzLZcU9XYU8iptEbZpcsq6neA-NfMq09leTeO83VoZlXrrp24TC_2cdLhGMMBkihg8DAU2n/s320/piafrown.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Little P will be three years old in less than eight weeks. I want to think we're ready, as so many exciting things are happening in her world. She is such a lovely smart, funny and caring precious little person. So much of me and so much of dad in her has begun to show through, and at times it is like we truly put mom and dad's qualities in a blender and this mix of personality is in front of us-and it can be frustrating and scary when it's the "negative" kind.<br />
Two has been so much fun, full of tender and marvelous moments, of discoveries and beauty. So much growth at leaps and bounds.<br />
Three is starting to sound exhausting, but fun; marked by the quintessential fight for freedom but wanting to remain our baby, accompanied by growing horrible temper tantrums, stubbornness bordering on OCD, with our wonderful child who used to eat everything we offered her is now so picky. The child who loved babies and animals is always fighting or bossing her sister around and bothering the 15 year old elderly cat. The child who had a solid nap schedule until she was 2 years old now rarely will go for an afternoon nap and is so cranky and exhausted at the end of the day that she drives herself and all around her absolutely bonkers and patience is so flimsy we can see it vanish.<br />
So full of opinions, wonderful stories and love for books and yoga.<br />
What a challenging time is coming upon us. I am so nervous and amazed at the same time. My daughter is a wonderful teacher and mirror. Her presence in my life makes my thoughts flourish and suddenly very old, deep memories come back to me as if I were there, a little me, living those moments again, smelling or touching toys, food, pets, hugging my mother, chasing my brother, playing with cousins, playing games, singing songs, wearing little me outfits, eating steamed veggies or ham sandwiches...<br />
Glad to be back here, writing. Enjoy.objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-28165296187207733162013-05-13T11:30:00.000-05:002013-06-04T13:11:26.356-05:00Another one bites the dust...<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Good Riddance... True friends are hard to come by, and when you have them, nourish your relationship with love and kindness, acceptance and most of all, friendship is a no-judgement zone, free of envious and selfish intentions, a place where no matter how much your friend shines if she's truly special to you, you'll love being in her presence without feeling out-shined. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Yes, I've been in rehab fo</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">r binge drinking and not being kind to myself, and in the psych ward when I needed help with depression, but this makes me stronger and able to look at people for who they are, without judgement, and see their tru colors, or if they are fake and pretentious, forgetting where they come from and bulldozing others who have always been there when they ask for help, regardless of how small or ugly or old my house is, it has always been open.<br />I am strong, beautiful, secure of myself, educated, honest, straight forward, LOVING and LOVABLE. My true friends are able to see me as such, don't judge me and encourage my ideas and personal choices no matter what.<br />As for you, you know who you are: For over eight years I tried to be your friend, opened the doors of my home and my heart, was always there whenever you called, encouraged your ideas and was always myself, never up or down, just me, you judged and criticized, weren't willing to help when I needed you during my citizenship process, and treated me like crap.<br />God bless you, truly, may you find and keep the happiness you boast to have and the material wealth you long to possess. May your thoughts and life be truly full of the peace you brag about and full of the awesomeness that surrounds you. I hope you face your demons soon so that the need to steal other people's ideas and greed don't propel you into action. Keep faking til you make it!</span>objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-32493390274953712602012-05-23T10:05:00.001-05:002012-05-23T10:13:07.371-05:00Detox day 3, Boot Camp week 4 and update on this year's gardenI have to say I have been hungry these last three days but not starving hungry, so it's OK. I've peed about 4lbs so far, not much to get excited about since I know that's all it is...water and, hopefully, "toxins" that my body is supposed to be getting rid of with the aid of the AM Detox drink, the Super Charged Greens drink and the workouts. Plus I've been sleeping much more, it said on the David Kirsch website that I should rest all I could during the Detox days. Thank God for my mother and husband as they have been on baby duty so I can do this. <br />
I also should note that I am able to play a bit more with my little P., she loves trying the "animal" moves such as bear walk, bunny and froggy jumps, and we've made up the kitty snuggle (where she tries to curl up in a little ball laying on the carpet imitating the cat when he naps). <br />
I will admit I ate my salad with a little bit of balsamic vinaigrette Monday, and I added olive oil to it on Tuesday. Somehow I feel I need some healthy oils on the only meal I can eat! I had chicken Monday and tuna Tuesday, will have tuna again today as that was nice yesterday. Needless to say, I really look forward to my lunch! <br />
I did break and ate a few prunes and almonds Tuesday afternoon and only a few prunes Monday afternoon. I hope I can go without today. It has been pretty hard, but I keep telling myself "It's already hump day, almost over, no different than a bad work week! You probably won't need coffee or sugary stuff in your life at all after Friday!" But the Pub mix snack won't be so lucky, I really like salty snacks :-/ hence all the water retention...<br />
However, today's workout wasn't the best, I was so tired during the last stretch and since we were inside the gym, I was disgusted every time I caught a glimpse of my reflection in all the mirrors, pretty self defeating. I tried to think all kinds of positive thoughts, like "that roll you see is getting blasted with this move" or "if you keep trying to lift yourself when you're this heavy, how easy it will be when you get lighter", but I don't think they worked much. Oh well, there's always the next workout to try and be better, right?<br />
<br />
In other news, the garden's looking fantastic. J. helped me make it a larger area (90 sq ft now), by consolidating the original two "little" patches, we put in some pavers to separate the plant sections and so that I can step inside to plant/weed/harvest throughout the season. He also helped me surround it with chicken wire to keep our tenant the bunny out and he helped me cover the strawberry corner so the birdies don't get to them, moved the compost bin closer to the patch, and has been saving grass clippings when he mowes the lawn so I can mulch the plants. I think he is as excited as I am this year, after all his hard work. He asks me if he needs to water every night and he takes the kitchen scraps to the bin. I can't wait until our first harvest!<br />
<br />
This year we have the following plants:<br />
3 tomate verde plants (so excited about these!)<br />
1 purple Cheyenne tomato<br />
1 Juliet Roma (grape) tomato<br />
1 cherry tomato<br />
2 cucumber<br />
2 sequoia strawberry<br />
1 white something strawberry<br />
2 Anaheim pepper<br />
2 Serrano pepper<br />
1 green bell pepper<br />
4 red bell pepper<br />
1 giant jalapeno pepper<br />
2 black queen eggplant<br />
<br />
We started from seed:<br />
watermelon (3 seedlings have sprouted)<br />
corn (several seedlings have sprouted)<br />
rainbow mix carrots (several seedlings have sprouted)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Perennials:<br />
asparagus (planted it last year, and we already ate a few earlier this spring)<br />
mint (third year with it in garden)<br />
purslane is coming back again this year, I guess the little seeds that fell from the plants that came up last year were enough for it to resurrect :-)<br />
<br />
Annual herbs:<br />
thyme<br />
basil<br />
<br />
As you can see, I tried to experiment with new plants this year, but I'm still scared to try with squashes (they had root rot the two previous years), green beans, peas and such. I also would love to have lettuces again but I don't want to crowd the existing plants like I did a couple years ago and I felt overwhelmed.<br />
I really would like to have turnips, parsnips, and kohlrabi without the slugs getting to them on the leaves and the earwigs and other bugs on the roots so I think I should do those in a container. Maybe when Luci is older and Pia doesn't run into the street like a crazy little goat...I just feel like either I should tend to the garden or watch them and play with them, but can't do both!objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-77109251795751846982012-05-21T10:00:00.001-05:002012-05-21T10:06:22.423-05:00I'm back!So the scale won't budge and has stayed between 200 and 192 lbs for the last three months. My second daughter, L. will be 4 months old in two days. I lost 28-30 lbs right after she was born, but even to return to the weight I was (186 lbs)when I got pregnant with her has been a struggle, let alone get back to my comfortable weight (156 lbs) and fitness level from three years ago before my first daughter was born!<br />
My knees, hips, and back hurt and I have just been feeling pretty yucky. I hate being heavy. I hate looking like a whale, but whales are cute and they're supposed to be big. Hate it with a passion. I hate having my clothes in totes. I hate being a size 16, a tight 16, when I was a 6! It brings me down and I eat my feelings in salty snacks or ice cream. Ugh. I hate not liking to have photos taken with my daughters because I am so fat. I hate all fat people and their bullshit: "Oh I am so fat but I am still fit and healthy as an ox." I curse them. And I REFUSE to be one of them.<br />
I tried Atkins for a month, had lost 7 lbs, but was so hungry and miserable, besides my husband protested at the cost of the grocery bill after he spotted a packet of grouper that was a bit too expensive, so that was that.<br />
After pleading to him, especially since my cholesterol results were high back in March and reality has kind of been hitting me, I was able to sign up for the "Boot Camp" (24/7 Fitness in Sioux Falls) and will do 8 weeks. I started "Boot Camp" three weeks ago, <em>somewhat </em>determined to get back on the bandwagon. I'm in week 4 and have not lost a single pound, but have not been meticulous about my diet either. And now I decided I should type about this journey and see how it all unfolds.<br />
So far, I have been taking the GNC Energy for Women vitamin packs and I have to admit I do feel better; at the workouts, I am able to do a bit more, but my knees are quite achy since last week and my hips/back are still uncomfortable from the pregnancy, so it's a real challenge to run all what the trainer makes us run, but I was super happy to get ahead of the group this morning!<br />
"Boot Camp" is from 6-7am three times per week and I've been able to do this thanks to my husband, my mom, and my boss. My mom watches the babies for us and my boss has let me change my work hours while my mom is with us so this is awesome and I don't want to let them down. I don't want to quit and I really want to lose this weight so we all can see that our efforts were worth it. But some days it is really hard to get out of bed!<br />
When I was doing the Atkins thing, I had bought a David Kirsch 5 day Ultimate Detox Kit but I had not made up my mind to follow through and the box kept staring at me from the dresser - until now. I talked about it with my husband and my mom and I finally started it this morning. So far so good. I took the Daily Detox shot before my workout along with the Energy Enhancer and Ginko from GNC. After the workout I took the Protein Shake and Super charged Greens. I just finished up the Thermo Bubbles drink, and am getting a bit hungry but will drink some decaf herbal tea until lunch time, when I will have a salad with chicken. For dinner I will have another shake. Rinse and repeat for the next four days. Hopefully my energy is not shot for the workouts on Wednesday and Friday.<br />
<br />
I also now apply FatGirlSlim twice a day and LoveHandler lotion once a day, to my family's skeptical giggling, but I will get toned and slim and I don't care if they laugh at me.<br />
<br />
Wish me luck! <br />
<br />
I purchased the David Kirsch and the FatGirlSlim products on <a href="http://bliss.com/">bliss.com</a>objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-51250820926732336972011-11-22T17:44:00.000-06:002011-11-23T08:12:25.427-06:00Do I blog for me or for an audience?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieMZSJCGxc1f9OCdEvz2ugKAhpynaO3u6XHd_wJGL8Fn8H0oZZXxQxVWaK0hxCrK5jmdT2YG3Wt5NGV5j8fhRrzig5ZLbAxt-6XTn6EA6Pn2ep5dPhqGWdxFBAgYyHFuOrbdYjbPGnk60r/s1600/blank_page.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieMZSJCGxc1f9OCdEvz2ugKAhpynaO3u6XHd_wJGL8Fn8H0oZZXxQxVWaK0hxCrK5jmdT2YG3Wt5NGV5j8fhRrzig5ZLbAxt-6XTn6EA6Pn2ep5dPhqGWdxFBAgYyHFuOrbdYjbPGnk60r/s320/blank_page.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The question has been in my mind for a while, after I stopped writing and posting a few months ago. In a way I do want others to read what I write, but in another way, I realize there are some individuals who I am not interested in sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings as I know they probably gossip or think worse of me as I "give" more information through this site.<br />
<br />
I always wanted the goal of my blog to be that of reaching someone who might be feeling alone, fighting a depression and realize they too will get through it, as I did with others' blogs. I have always wanted to nourish that feeling of kindred spirits no matter the distance. Another goal was to just get things out of my system and maybe receive from comments, or feedback regarding what I had to say.<br />
<br />
Maybe what I write hasn't been interesting enough, and serves the purpose of my venting and in a healthy way "let it go", whether it is anger I'm dealing with, or sadness, frustration, mostly those three. Sorry I'm not more cheerful, but hey, this is me, and this is my place :-) <br />
<br />
I've considered maybe taking another route, blogging about my cooking and how I still sometimes enjoy that. Or maybe blogging more about being with my daughter, who is now almost 16 months old and what a ride it has been to be her mother so far. Or maybe blog about my second pregnancy, and how different it has been than my first (full term) one. Or blog more about my life growing up (but found out that topic sometimes kindles the fire of resentment and anger and revives the past so, unless I really want to deal with it on top of all else in my life at the present, I decided not to go there). Then I realized I would just keep writing about my every day, like a journal, a dirary, no topic...<br />
Well, in the end, I guess blogging "for me" is really not working, I already do that semi regularly on a real journal by my nightstand. I have realized I enjoy seeing visitors around here, and it bums me when weeks go by and I have one or two visits in a month. Maybe I'll try again, when I quit my job, or when I am abducted by aliens and my life becomes more pleasant and worth sharing about so I can get more readers, perhaps?<br />
<br />
Dear lonely reader, thank you for stopping by!objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-18986723008057705552011-08-08T12:21:00.000-05:002011-08-08T12:21:08.433-05:00A Veggie Venture: Recipe for Roasted Kohlrabi ♥WIll try this with white turnips in the mix...fresh from our backyard garden :-)
<br />
<br /><a href="http://kitchen-parade-veggieventure.blogspot.com/2007/01/roasted-vegetables-roasted-kohlrabi.html?spref=bl">A Veggie Venture: Recipe for Roasted Kohlrabi ♥</a>: "How to roast kohlrabi, a simple way to cook kohlrabi, just cubed and oven-roasted. Low carb. Weight Watchers 1 point. ~recipe & photo updat..."objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-25163322561237171362011-07-25T07:14:00.000-05:002011-07-25T07:14:16.093-05:00blog del padre Fortea: Noruega, OccidenteEstoy totalmente de acuerdo con el padre Fortea en este respecto, eso mismo dije en cuanto supe del ataque "en Noruega de todos los lugares, que extranio!"<br /><a href="http://blogdelpadrefortea.blogspot.com/2011/07/noruega-occidente.html?spref=bl">blog del padre Fortea: Noruega, Occidente</a>: "Todo ataque terrorista es una aberración. Pero el ataque a Noruega es una sinrazón dentro de la aberración. ¿En qué pensarían los sembrado..."objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-57013024290509906612011-07-08T20:02:00.000-05:002011-07-13T08:04:47.001-05:00Didn't make my wallet fatter but...at least the stress level went a bit down.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKuAcu2nq4Qo3kWjlcksjKcT_YIwSVlQVTCB09Lmqj63E_09hyphenhyphenfceBG6T9cdGOYAcPOdCEEgMRHe5i1o17geZKEWDPBdPnniThdQEZGRddyDRf5bZYe8013eEbSUWxJQgrDURQOccXliRH/s320/micartera.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My wallet...</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<div align="center"></div>See, when you share your troubles with your loved ones they seem to take responsibility for whatever is troubling you if it affects them. So I am thankful that I at least was heard and since I asked for help, I was open to solutions. I can't say our problems are fixed but at least I feel we are more of a team now than we were before I reached out for help.<br />
<br />
We still have to get caught up and I don't know how long that will take, with a baby on the way and a toddler to be 11 and a half month old at home. See I know we can trim more fat from our monthly expenses, but imagine if we didn't already try to conserve as much as we can? We do all this:<br />
<ul><li>We hardly ever eat out, which means 98% of our meals are at home, </li>
<li>we cloth diaper, we line dry most of our clothes, </li>
<li>we've been driving less, </li>
<li>we bring our own coffe/tea to work, </li>
<li>we sack our lunches, </li>
<li>we put the gym on hold, </li>
<li>we're selling one of the cars (If you're interested in the Jetta, let me know!), </li>
<li>we have a vegetable garden (which I hope will give us good veggies this year, if the rabbit stops eating my broccoli), </li>
<li>we live in a very modest small house, which means our mortgage payment is rather low,</li>
<li>I made the baby's food when she started solids, and all she eats now are homemade meals and snacks, but she stopped nursing at 10 months so we compensate with formula, so that added an expense</li>
<li>we shop at Sam's for some things and other things at the grocery store with shopping lists, and an awareness of how much money we have available for food-grocery items, </li>
<li>we recycle and get reward points for it, then I trade some points for baby food items or "green" house cleaning supplies, </li>
<li>we are mindful of our energy, water, and gas use, and monitor how much it increases or decreases month to month and the factors that lead to these fluctuations</li>
<li>we don't shop, window shop, or internet shop, unless it's for necessary items (i.e. diaper soap or diaper covers, which we'll keep using with next baby, so expense pays for itself after the first 7 or 9 days of not using disposable diapers)</li>
</ul>We've concluded that what takes most of our money away are the "second class necessary" payments, such as:<br />
<ul><li>student loan, </li>
<li>cell phones (we don't have a land line and we do have one of the lowest rate family plans,</li>
<li>I've been considering switching to Magic Jack and shut the cell phone out or use a pay as yo go phone but I'm not convinced yet), </li>
<li>credit card 'pay-down', </li>
<li>an old hospital bill, </li>
<li>internet (again we carry the lowest rate service), </li>
<li>Dish (we hate it and we're in the process of downgrading the plan until we can cancel the service without shelling out the $200 fee if cancelled before the contract expires). </li>
</ul>These are the most significant mone busters in our life. And we're working on eliminating them or at least reducing some of their costs. <br />
<br />
We still are commited to our emergency fund and put money in it every month, and at work we automatically contribute to our retirement accounts, but I'd like to do more since my contribution was cut 50% when I went part time without the possibility to contribute the difference to my IRA Roth outside work due to our other expenses. <br />
<br />
I still worry a bit about our money situation, but I know now that I'm not alone, I just hope we keep talking about this and not fall into the 'ignoring is better pattern' we were in up until a few weeks ago.<br />
<br />
What do you all do to "save money" or better said "not spend more than you need"?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKuAcu2nq4Qo3kWjlcksjKcT_YIwSVlQVTCB09Lmqj63E_09hyphenhyphenfceBG6T9cdGOYAcPOdCEEgMRHe5i1o17geZKEWDPBdPnniThdQEZGRddyDRf5bZYe8013eEbSUWxJQgrDURQOccXliRH/s1600/micartera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></div>objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-29506233013269333922011-06-28T18:57:00.002-05:002011-06-28T19:16:58.274-05:00On being a mother and other things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom and I ca. 1985</td></tr>
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I'm intrigued about whether my mom shaped me to be a successful, forgiving individual and whether I became more depressed, resentful, and bitter after I stopped having constant contact with her.<br />
See, I was always with her when I was a little girl, she protected me, and nurtured me and only as an adult have I come to understand how much hurt and chaos and pain she had in her life with my father, but as far as I'm concerned, even as I grew up and became a young adult I was always her child and she has never ever abandoned me.<br />
She says I talked at about 9 months, I can believe that; she has always told me so many stories of when I was a baby or a toddler, of things I can't remember and they are so sweet. I can hear myself talk to my baby daughter like my mom probably talked to me. But I'm probably not as good as my mom was, and this saddens me. I am afraid that although I've developed a strong bond with my baby daughter, it is probably tainted (I was reading <a href="http://helpguide.org/mental/eqa_attachment_bond.htm">Attachment and Adult Relationships: How the Attachment Bond Shapes Adult Relationships</a>) because I've been depressed, impatient, tired, frustrated, and honestly quite resentful and bitter because of our old house and monetary problems. <br />
I don't think my mom suffered from depression until I was maybe a little older, and if she has had bouts with it, they have totally been circumstantial and temporay. My mom is an optimist, a joy to all her friends and her grandchildren have enjoyed her (until they turn into teenagers and forget about her) because she is so loving and funny to them.<br />
I miss her so much. She's in central Mexico, about 1200 miles away or two flights away, or a three day drive away. And one of the hardest things for me about now raising little P is not having my mom close by, so they can enjoy each other and I can cherish my mom's company.<br />
Last year she came to be with me a few weeks before my baby was born and stayed a few months after and I can't remember having such an amazing time with her before then. We would go for walks every evening with my huge belly and slow pace and she would help me in the vegetable garden, then after baby was born we would take her with us for our walks when she wasn't napping, but every time I strolled along with my mom, I swear I almost peed my pants because she would tell me the funniest things. This summer I have had some really hard days, I stopped taking the zoloft in late May, after I found out we're expecting our second child. But even while I was taking the medication, when I take baby in her stroller on "grandma's walking route" a bittersweet stream of feelings overcomes my heart and I wish she were there with me.<br />
<br />
I just wish I will be as good a mom as she is, she does have some flaws, can be dictatorial and critical and is probably a bit helicopterish, at least she was, when I was growing up, but I guess I didn't turn to be a criminal or a worse off woman because of her. My father's alcoholism and emotional abuse has probably more to do with my ailments, but that's for another post. My mom tried to shelter me, but as we all know the codependent spouse can only shelter so much. Her path has been so interesting, I could talk for hours about her life, because she talked for hours about it with me. It would annoy the crap out of me at the time, but I know better now.<br />
<br />
I see my husband and I know his parents were so different than mine, his birth order is different than mine, his sociocultural environment when growing up way different than mine, and you can see he's a very resiliant individual but I'm afraid that the cornerstone of his insecurities, emotional disconnect, feeling stuffing, and inability to pursue real success and make of himself someone greater than he ever imagined lies on the attachment, or lack of, with his mother.<br />
All he has ever achieved he has achieved on his own, without anyone on his cheering squad, only after he's done something has he recieved some congratulatory comment, if any. (I'm by no means saying his parents are bad people, just saying the ambition and willingness to help their children believe the sky's the limit wasn't present when my husband was a young man). This takes a toll on our marriage and our financial situation.<br />
I was raised (by an enthusiastic mom) to go and get, to never feel ashamed of being smart (go figure!), to go to the beat of my own drum, and if someone had a problem with it, to know someone had my back. I'm becoming a worm, digging deeper in the dirt to not even suggest that I can conquer the world, that we can bring more money home if he chooses to be the stay at home parent or redirect his goals and take a more realistic approach to the fact that his speech may be the reason as to why he can't and probably will not advance in the financial field, that we could be so much better off if we both had the guts to "go and get", to "stand up and do" and stop resting in our laurels and pretend that where we're at is good enough, when it isn't.<br />
I started off in this relationship being very dominant, wrong approach of course, because, this far into it, it was easier to join him than to change him, our finances are a mess and our lifestyle, plain mediocre; and this, of course makes the depression worse when it lurks around the corner. Then I have no validity in his eyes, "because I'm ill". It's a vicious cycle. Then I want to go to my mom and hide in her arms...or at least go for a walk with her on a summer evening...objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-58596424660086460302011-06-14T22:19:00.000-05:002011-06-14T22:19:15.205-05:00To have major depressive disorder is not the same as "feeling blue"...<i>Originally a Note from my FB profile...will translate on later time, since this is a really good letter to my acquaintances about </i><i>what</i><i> living with depression has been for me, especially this week.</i> <br />
<br />
Tener depresion aguda no es "andar en la depre"...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSzvKBds6AaX9sYLCMBN79i4hNPrEBW624usmfahU1aqQEx8RzzWjOOBokF5B5iCLDsb7u87HDPZc1i74_qUPiBL33gxi8u8GQX2OPFyfUmlDmf6uVuIxr4t3qBAMW-EAW4qvIIPGV4RFg/s1600/252.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSzvKBds6AaX9sYLCMBN79i4hNPrEBW624usmfahU1aqQEx8RzzWjOOBokF5B5iCLDsb7u87HDPZc1i74_qUPiBL33gxi8u8GQX2OPFyfUmlDmf6uVuIxr4t3qBAMW-EAW4qvIIPGV4RFg/s320/252.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>...No se quita solo "siendo positivo" aunque eso ciertamente ayuda.Tener depresion aguda tampoco quiere decir que uno deja de tener fe en Dios y en su misericordia, ni que "que pecado tan grande debo haber cometido que mira que me ha mandado Dios", no quiere decir que uno nunca jamas se rie o es capaz de sonreir, o de sentir amor por sus hijos. Tal como una persona que no sufre de depresion aguda cronica no se esta riendo todo el santo dia, o se enoja o se pone triste, lo que pasa cuando la depresion es cronica es que la sensacion de estancamiento perdura y es mas dificl hacer tareas que los otros no consideran debilitantes.<br />
Cuando uno tiene depresion cronica, la fatiga viene de tratar de vivir "con mas ganas" la vida, nuestro cuerpo no cuenta con los quimicos necesarios como la dopamina y la serotnina (tal como un diabetico con un desequilibrio de insulina) que ayudan a lidiar con las cosas mas sencillas; y, derrumbando cualquier idea que los demas puedan tener de que los deprimidos solo somos flojos, es lo contrario: uno debe esforzarse el doble -si se tiene la nocion de lo que le pasa, como en mi caso, despues de 7 anios en tratamiento psiquiatrico, tres hospitalizaciones y 17 anios de terapia psicologica, actividad fisica, cambios en la dieta para aumentar niveles de serotonina, tecnicas de relajacion y visualizacion- para tratar de pasar el dia y funcionar en el empleo, en la casa y tratar de dar entusiasmo a los hijos, en otras palabras, uno gasta mucha energia tratando de efectivamente no dejar que la depresion reine. Es injusto que los demas nos "den aliento" dando a entender que no le echamos suficientes ganas a la vida, queridos mios: no tienen idea de cuantas mas ganas uno debe echarle de amancer a anocher, dia tras dia.<br />
Uno tiene dias mejores que otros. Ayer fue un dia muy cansado, donde mi animo solo respondia llorando y la fatiga viene al tratar de evitar ese animo, y no dejar que mi nenita vea a su mami asi de malita. Y es que, cuando uno toma medicamento, los niveles de los quimicos en el cerebro medio se nivelan y le ayudan a uno a poder dar mas batalla. Yo tengo tres semanas de no tomar mi medicamento, por razones medicas y muy importantes para mi esposo y yo, de modo que soy completamente responsable de ser consciente de mis estados de animo y parte de esto es ser honesta y poder comunicar cuando tengo dias pesados, esto efectivamente ayuda al enfermo.<br />
Es dificil explicar la depresion como enfermedad real, sobre todo cuando uno vive en dualidad cultural y de perspectiva. A mi esposo se lo tuvo que apenas explicar mejor el psiquiatra hace algunos meses, y aun cuando a mis padres les trate de explicar como actua esta enfermedad, bueno, uno fue victima de ella y la otra aun creo que no le queda claro que sucede en mi vida con este padecimiento. Tengo entendido que es un hecho que muchos miembros de mi familia materna y paterna padecen de algun grado de trastorno de estado de animo, pero a menos que tengan mas contacto con la perspectiva americana, los demas se "diagnostican" o tachan unos a otros de locos enfermos!<br />
Y es que, cuando uno ha vivido con depresion la mayor parte de su vida en Mexico aun no hay un entendimiento de lo que sucede en el cerebro y en la vida de la persona. Y no digo que en USA sea distinto, pero ultimadamente aqui es donde finalmente le dieron al clavo y desde hace 7 anios estoy tratando de aceptar mi condicion y de aprender a vivir con este padecimiento. En Mexico simplemente todo mundo me criticaba o decia que "era sangrona o muy voluble". de ahi el iniciar terapia, "para dejar de ser grosera con los demas"...<br />
En fin, lo que quiero dejar claro es que esto no es cuestion de opinion, es una situacion real y latente en la vida del enfermo, como el cancer o la diabetes, aun no se encuentra una cura pero se puede lograr "pausar los sintomas" con varias alternativas, y aun asi todos los que a diario luchamos con enfermedades de la mente vivimos con la esperanza de que se lograra encontrar una cura.objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-19382677333649404152011-06-06T16:54:00.001-05:002011-06-06T17:01:29.487-05:00Welcome to Hades<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m242/axiemeluv/Smiley/summer-animated-animation-weather-s.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m242/axiemeluv/Smiley/summer-animated-animation-weather-s.gif" /></a></div><br />
When the temperature is anywhere above 74F, it is very hot for me, the current temperature reads 98.6F with a feeling of 99.4F, I don't know but this seems to be the high temp for the day. This makes it so hard for me to go outside since I get dizzy, light headed and very lethargic. Needless to say, I dislike summer a bit more than I dislike winter, even if it is 6 months long and temperatures are subzero...In winter at least I cover up and go inside, plus I'm always hot anyway, in summer if I go out I get <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1307385471_0" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; cursor: pointer;">heat exhaustion</span> and like I said, feel so lethargic, but since I stay inside I freeze with the AC on and it's so annoying! Ugh. Add to the mix that I've stopped drinking coffee and cut way down on soda pop. (Recently, I seem to want only ice water, decaf tea lattes, and lemonade.) Also, the resident Psych got me off the medication for the depression and anxiety a couple weeks ago. So I'm basically a very cranky, dizzy, anxious mix of hormones, boy do I feel for my husband. He will definitely earn sainthood before he even dies :-)<br />
<br />
So, I believe that because I don't take the medication any more, I have these really weird lucid dreams, and when I take naps I suddenly awake with my heart racing and I'm shaking. Deep inside I hope that I someday don't need to take any medication for depression, but I know that after baby was born it only took three months for the mood to go really down and the post partum to increase the "regular" depression when the resident Psych put me back on the meds. I am praying so very much that this time some miracle will come our way and post partum won't come along to screw things up. <br />
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We took a quick trip last week. We went to the Zoo. It was fun, but I was so tired and hot and sticky, and it wasn't even as hot as it is today! Our little daughter is still is too little to notice most animals especially those who are napping, but she still enjoyed the fish, birds and any other big animal which moved significantly for her to notice.<br />
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It was a nice time and because I was on vacation, I ate anything and everything I got my hands on, my husband was a bit impressed, but I was hungry! I am trying not to eat all the time, but being so anxious all the time sure isn't fun... objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-81433208245169165022011-05-23T23:18:00.000-05:002011-05-23T23:18:39.144-05:00what is your point, exactly? You're pissing me off!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwwCSYHd545Op_eV_Kg94K6YKzE4KiVJeNgizv2JNYsj2F20ZPcNYQcY6pbgUIV81FmXxLUam66_anF3K7q3ygm0nOrU7UiiUhoZpMZXBR0meFJB77vDISQe7imSBO4J7tx0WFLzRFyiIL/s1600/014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwwCSYHd545Op_eV_Kg94K6YKzE4KiVJeNgizv2JNYsj2F20ZPcNYQcY6pbgUIV81FmXxLUam66_anF3K7q3ygm0nOrU7UiiUhoZpMZXBR0meFJB77vDISQe7imSBO4J7tx0WFLzRFyiIL/s320/014.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I know you're up there, please hear me!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>It is one of those nights where I constantly wonder what the hell I'm doing here. There has to be a reason, I know, and if I walk by Faith and works I shouldn't question this.<br />
However, I snap with husband~ hence the title of this post due to the whole work thing and becoming aware that people look at this space during work hours and how this is not intended for that and my husband lecturing me and finally my having to edit-remove my previous post,<br />
due to my considering doing a bit of housecleaning on FB,<br />
due to hormones,<br />
due to the goddamn clogged sink and the nausea it brings me, <br />
due to the inability to work in the garden because I seem to have developed a fear and disgust of snakes,<br />
due to my frustration with our budget and the cost of life,<br />
due to my increasing weight,<br />
due to my clothes not fitting,<br />
due to not really trusting someone else with my daughter,<br />
due to not exercising as I must,<br />
due to our work schedules (circle back to not trusting others with my daughter and the frustrating budget)<br />
...one of those nights where the the back ache is so strong, the silence is so thick, the size of the house really tiny, the old stove and sink too old, the basement a damn dungeon, and the only thing that breathes love and hope is my daughter, so innocent and beautiful, so perfect.<br />
And I realize that's what I'm doing here, that's what I'm here for now. No matter how broke I am, how broken I feel, no matter how many times I ask myself how long I can live like this, in this house about to fall apart, where we can at least afford the mortgage and attempt to leave within our means. No matter how many times I try to find the moment in time where I stopped being prosperous and began sinking into mediocrity, or when I let envy and pride sneak into my heart. There's someone who needs me and always smiles at me, just for me, for who I am in her eyes, at least for now, when she is so small and tender and miraculously innocent and full of God's love.<br />
And in her world, there is no money, no work schedules, no fear, there are no bitter tears. And I pray I can be strong for her, and I pray we can get ahead, and I pray for resentments to vanish in all areas of my life. objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-25799799280409604942011-05-23T22:56:00.000-05:002011-05-23T23:27:49.014-05:00for the sake of peaceAfter being lectured by my husband, I have edited this post bordering in freedom of expression issues but I'm too tired to fight over it. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitfAHFDfHKBb7M4UDbJHtkMa0fSz9oQy7JaPQcTbKWiALn0UITAMkcgcUOu8797NYk1D8IYFwdAyhQyaEmhJzTzOwq7OnFG2_vg98cJh7upj6qu48MxkeC0mFzQDbQZHuUtXuraSAcAYdw/s1600/cyber.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitfAHFDfHKBb7M4UDbJHtkMa0fSz9oQy7JaPQcTbKWiALn0UITAMkcgcUOu8797NYk1D8IYFwdAyhQyaEmhJzTzOwq7OnFG2_vg98cJh7upj6qu48MxkeC0mFzQDbQZHuUtXuraSAcAYdw/s320/cyber.jpg" style="cursor: move;" unselectable="on" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">kitties always make us smile, right?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I wish I knew how the issue was addressed. </span></div><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">I believe this person was actually told that I complained about her attitude and I also believe this hinders and jeopardizes the no-retaliation policy that a workplace must protect and provide its employees. Now, I'm the one who brought the matter to my manager's attention, for the simple reason that lately it appears that anything goes in the workplace. Regardless (or especially)if you have a friendship relationship with a person you met at work, when you're at work there are standards and expectations and we are ALL subjected to them, I don't care who you are, or if someone "triggered it" we are all responsible for keeping our emotions and frustrations in check and therefore, if your behavior is unacceptable, then that's what it should be addressed as. <b>Own it, make amends if you can, and don't blame others for your disrespectful attitude.</b> </span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Yes, I agree in the general concept of forgive and forget, however there has seemed to be a double standard in place, let me explain:</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Let's suppose for a minute that it was me who reacted that way, pointed my finger, yelled and walked way; like I explained to my manager, I would have gotten into a lot of trouble and probably would not have heard the end of it from her and my fellow co-workers, because "how dare I treat dear nice social butterfly lady like that". So, who comes out on my defense? Myself, the good old company handbook, (hopefully) my manager, and the HR people we all may contact when in doubt.</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I did receive feedback from my manager, and I appreciate that. I was made aware that in others' point of view, I was yelling as well; I honestly do not recall it that way, and I disputed that. I do believe that I just happened to be the target of the aggression but it probably wasn't intended to be, as it could have been directed at anyone present but it happened to be me because I was right in front of her and I did ask the person to calm down.</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Again maybe due to how this whole thing was addressed, I could have lost a friend and although I'm willing to be civil in the workplace, it appears at times that people are not willing to adhere to the courtesy guidelines the company (and maybe society, depending on where you grew up it seems)requires of all of us, and apparently ignoring your co-workers selectively is written between the company handbook's lines as appropriate behavior. Yes, that's what it is! Since EVERYONE does this, ignore co-workers selectively is definitely the way to go and this is how to do it:</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">-Do not make eye contact or say good morning or goodbye (extend this behavior to your relatives if they happen to be around)</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">-Don't ever smile at them</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">-Have a dry even angry look on your face at all times when the selected person is nearby</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">-Be (super) nice to others, however, skipping the selected individual</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Hey, I do it to certain people...now I know how it feels!</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span> </div><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I end this post with a smile, noting that we all have stories, we all have good nights and bad mornings, our lives converge and sometimes we can't help it, but if I want to better serve God, I must forgive and forget, and let the other people be, but stand up for myself and justice when my conscience begs me to. That is all I did.</span> <img height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitfAHFDfHKBb7M4UDbJHtkMa0fSz9oQy7JaPQcTbKWiALn0UITAMkcgcUOu8797NYk1D8IYFwdAyhQyaEmhJzTzOwq7OnFG2_vg98cJh7upj6qu48MxkeC0mFzQDbQZHuUtXuraSAcAYdw/s320/cyber.jpg" style="filter: alpha(opacity=30); left: 422px; mozopacity: 0.3; opacity: 0.3; position: absolute; top: 122px; visibility: hidden;" width="96" />objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-73689804345626767572011-05-18T23:13:00.000-05:002011-05-18T23:13:36.319-05:00yo lo unico que les pedi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvw4PSaSyc5ITNeS0f9rXnmsi0DhbQ70Khja4o6EkOlAi2pJ1zvY5f4Db40mQCXFevzPR58r838-UB8LVZn3dtGj_a_5qpekn64-X3XHQ5AIMqai8J0kFi29TLp5yA7HnH9wpkgMhgk21/s1600/256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvw4PSaSyc5ITNeS0f9rXnmsi0DhbQ70Khja4o6EkOlAi2pJ1zvY5f4Db40mQCXFevzPR58r838-UB8LVZn3dtGj_a_5qpekn64-X3XHQ5AIMqai8J0kFi29TLp5yA7HnH9wpkgMhgk21/s320/256.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Es que no me metieran en enredos y que cuando terminaran lo hicieran de forma madura. Las dos se portaron como ninas y menos mal que mi amiga de 18 anios sigue siendolo, pero la otra que trabaja donde yo trabajo en mi misma area ha sido cada vez mas grosera conmigo. Lo que ahora nos lleva a mi post del 12 de mayo. Y ahora bueno, todo parece indicar que "si no fue tuyo (amistad en este caso), dejalo ir" resulta muy verdadero. Lo incomodo del asunto es que tengo que ver a esta persona del diario (por lo regular) y como dijo mi marido "por una extrania razon le cae bien a todo el mundo". Ugh. Y como yo no estoy ahi por mucho tiempo durante el dia, bueno ya se imaginaran la de historias que esta entretenida personita ha creado, supongo. Pero lo que no sabes no te puede lastimar entonces me dare por no enterada.<br />
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En fin, maniana sera otro dia, otra oprtunidad de ser humildes y evitar ser humillados ;-)<br />
Por cierto, mi amiga ya tiene otra pareja, tan tan. objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-63426950153526203092011-05-13T11:47:00.001-05:002011-05-13T12:06:01.385-05:00blogger deleted my post from yesterday...<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIHGflZN2pyhliHC15U8JT2TLFxnM1hxuk_j6OMMgusmbJPFmFYWSGVV4V9fedQF34DfMRwgxjRzPqLWgZS_MIt9bCImiLFAGqxTT7yCsLvikLWzT2s7uyG8mXObD6C-7vXD4ujbqoljxQ/s1600/065.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIHGflZN2pyhliHC15U8JT2TLFxnM1hxuk_j6OMMgusmbJPFmFYWSGVV4V9fedQF34DfMRwgxjRzPqLWgZS_MIt9bCImiLFAGqxTT7yCsLvikLWzT2s7uyG8mXObD6C-7vXD4ujbqoljxQ/s320/065.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cozumel May 2010</td></tr>
</tbody></table>What a pain in the ass. I had actually written a very decent post yesterday and now it's gone...I hope they get it back at least in my drafts. I am very upset.<br />
<br />
So, in attempt to think of better times and days, a photo from our trip last spring to Cozumel.<br />
It must be working...There are so many things to be happy about and thankful for, especially my beautiful gift from God: my baby daughter. We have other news filled with joy, but aren't quite ready to speak them out loud yet, maybe as the weather gets nicer I'll feel more inspired to talk about it.objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-13264960958750891632011-05-12T13:24:00.002-05:002011-05-18T08:53:40.856-05:00How many tries?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisie45JK75NJmbajKK7VKfvOwVtGt6wV4IHdkbDhY6F3SVGANpVKZcgrMkTu6JBuh_trg9bJacF0JcSKbFioGBPUPnbuTnoD8vNbKrGAtKDdBY-x6-OwgLnIt4JuX2YLFVi_hcdeTRqFTn/s1600/085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisie45JK75NJmbajKK7VKfvOwVtGt6wV4IHdkbDhY6F3SVGANpVKZcgrMkTu6JBuh_trg9bJacF0JcSKbFioGBPUPnbuTnoD8vNbKrGAtKDdBY-x6-OwgLnIt4JuX2YLFVi_hcdeTRqFTn/s320/085.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my footsteps in Cozumel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>"How many times should I forgive my brother? Seventy times seven."<br />
Well, I can only make it to three, and that's after the other person not having apologized at all any of those three times.<br />
However, trying to follow my empathic instinct, values, "out of the goodness of my heart", or however you may call it I had decided to take their previous disrespect as "maybe they're having a bad day" or "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, it's not my fault" which is still my approach this time... but I've also decided to shut that person out of my spectrum of trust, friendship, and people I held "dear to my heart". Like my dad said, be where you like to be with people you like :-)<br />
If they're such unhappy individuals, and they are aware there are places where they may receive the help and understanding that they might need, good for them, but as of today, I no longer am interested in their life and will not speak ill nor well of them in any circle, if they come or go, hurt or not, succeed or fail as Gable told Leigh: "Frankly, (my dear), I don't give a damn".<br />
<br />
I have worn my heart on my sleeve my whole young life and I've been burnt because of this so many times I get so tired of it; and I also think this may be one of the major contributors to this never ending struggle with mood swings, hopelessness, loneliness, feeling of rejections, and ultimately depression I experience. It is so very painful to feel ostracized, to be the odd one out, to know you've done no wrong and still have the other party be defended by the other people in the room because "I said something that came across very aggressive", disregarding that the other individual was the one behaving aggressively toward me and the whole group. It is a very unpleasant feeling to not have your emotions acknowledged and to feel that with their silence, lack of action, and basically a lack of a backbone the group is telling me what Gable told Leigh...that THEY don't give a damn about me or my feelings either! but, why should they?<br />
<br />
I walk alone...objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-32047567918350085072011-03-27T19:34:00.000-05:002011-03-27T19:34:05.671-05:00Speak now or forever hold your piece...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqdrejqHW5z87m9MMCfX_yz_RachzVXYmGS003c9ke6AxfU_KYWggwo0UPTTrKnF9Myx2grwqpyjSYD8MZAvqq_DB6TT6-crsF3n2btQxNhRLBAS4O9UZNH-j3OOyg1E1MfbKu35d-S7o/s1600/dont_follow_me_sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqdrejqHW5z87m9MMCfX_yz_RachzVXYmGS003c9ke6AxfU_KYWggwo0UPTTrKnF9Myx2grwqpyjSYD8MZAvqq_DB6TT6-crsF3n2btQxNhRLBAS4O9UZNH-j3OOyg1E1MfbKu35d-S7o/s1600/dont_follow_me_sign.jpg" /></a></div>So many things to share lately...where to begin? The husband getting a new car? Me becoming an American? My finally getting a <i>little bit</i> organized? My finding the perfect office desk for an awesome price and the store to not have it until God knows when again? The baby saying "no" as her first word? How lucky and grateful I am for my husband? Me gaining 7 lbs. after starting a diet? The ex-husband encounter? The relatives dropping the divorce bomb on me? <br />
Pick a topic, please!objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-58750127538309666532011-03-17T21:25:00.001-05:002011-03-17T21:36:13.802-05:00Did a weight get lifted from my shoulders?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC6KseCf7S3Wm53oO_viB9pULh0gT9-bGa1zhfbWxnJfI0o4FbFXjLEXzefz_ktIAqodBs0XhmMLuxWm6iKUeKX76XxlmjoP1l5Dtn-HQn4Y08YYrQeYGhuXwwlasKSCEsy2JO8fHsoH5B/s1600/251.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC6KseCf7S3Wm53oO_viB9pULh0gT9-bGa1zhfbWxnJfI0o4FbFXjLEXzefz_ktIAqodBs0XhmMLuxWm6iKUeKX76XxlmjoP1l5Dtn-HQn4Y08YYrQeYGhuXwwlasKSCEsy2JO8fHsoH5B/s320/251.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Ah! the magic of therapy... in my rationalizing mode I was able to discern sometime today how I <i>have</i> been original, how I am not a fake, how I must give myself credit for what I've achieved and how I haven't failed <i>anyone. </i>I did get a higher education degree and it did take me a year to research and write a thesis on international terrorism, I did win prizes and spelling bees in grade school and I did belong in the honor roll all those times I was a straight A student. Where the notion that I'm a fake came, I still haven't a clue, but I will figure it out.<br />
In the meantime, this little piece of insight helps me somewhat to deal with my current situation, where I feel so discredited and unrecognized in the workplace; then again, the therapist is right to remind me that whatever I do I must do to feel better and if doing or not doing something has the opposite effect, that's something to try and change. "What you want is to lift yourself up, not dig the hole deeper."<br />
Life is hard, people are sneaky, but I still am capable, whole, good hearted, loved, sincere, and need the responsible, caring, charming me to come around every once in a while, to put the critical, lackadaisical, me at ease for even a few hours.<br />
I need to develop a plan of tasks to complete and little by little build a stash of accomplishments to feel proud of, along with making the gratitude bag fatter.objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249055547949493426.post-12899001153963594042011-03-09T09:43:00.000-06:002011-03-09T09:43:57.703-06:00Stay at home mom, a lesson learned?<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVuoHHfBbCWPa2KmOwUnbEITVo3Um06Js1w_x9O46RKgj-cFWyeU8WcFvqiwzannXbRgg-Pt-bnvtoSFkk5ZhpFlTI3Fy6Vr7z02PlCchaR-QRyj6pq9EREiQFXH6mVgkSDUqRujlommaP/s1600/medi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVuoHHfBbCWPa2KmOwUnbEITVo3Um06Js1w_x9O46RKgj-cFWyeU8WcFvqiwzannXbRgg-Pt-bnvtoSFkk5ZhpFlTI3Fy6Vr7z02PlCchaR-QRyj6pq9EREiQFXH6mVgkSDUqRujlommaP/s320/medi.jpg" width="320" /></a>So I win the stupidest woman of the week award for sure…turns out I let my guard down and purchased a case of "high quality" beef and "premium" seafood from a couple of door-to-door salesmen lastnight.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">"Medi’s Meats" in Sioux Falls prices the beef case for $299 and the seafood for $299, I paid $390 for both…ugh. Also, although Medi’s Meats is a licensed business, their drivers might not be. My gut told me the guys looked like they just walked out of prison, and I was probably right, the one Daniel guy looked like a drug addict as well. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I guess I can keep googling until my eyes pop out of my head but I will drop the issue because all I’ve found is:</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">-Turns out that most of these “salesmen” are drug addicts, and since they “get paid daily” they’re just looking for their next score. Sure enough, they cashed my check right away! </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">-repackaged meats</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>-ecoli burgers<br />
<br />
-water and flavor pumped meat<br />
<br />
-expired meats<br />
<br />
And the list goes on… Like I said, Medi’s Meats is a licensed and registered business in Sioux Falls, unlike those I’ve found on the google searches, so I’m just praying that their product isn’t tainted. Although I did pay $141 less that what the stuff was “retailed” for, I still feel like an idiot as I actually thought I got a good deal getting beef and seafood for $2.94/serving, I just hope the meat doesn’t make us sick, since we already ate some of it (being Fat Tuesday and Lent beginning today and all). <br />
<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">What makes me feel the stupidest is that I actually let them inside my home, while I was alone with my sweet baby girl, what an IDIOT! And they were offering to help me “find room” in our freezer downstairs, they were checking everything out and I did not feel safe, if I were my husband I would have yelled at me for hours! But he didn’t, he’s a “stuffer”, and now I’m left with this huge guilt from first of all putting my baby and myself in danger; secondly, spending that ridiculous amount of money for which we have other priorities and I should have discussed with my husband first, AND I was bamboozled because I did NOT get a good deal, I was ripped off, considering the prices were not $418/case but a still questionable $299; and lastly, buying something that may not be safe for our consumption and now I feel like we shouldn’t eat any of it.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Please somebody help me, I’m trying to not beat myself down as much but I can’t seem to get a grip.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><br />
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</div>objusticehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407664499863432535noreply@blogger.com0