Friday, January 7, 2011

Last few weeks

Christmas was good. I only had a few mood swings but nothing drastic or bad enough to make me get into trouble with J or other relatives. At least, that's my impression!
New Year's was ok, I managed to stay up and receive the New Year and toast with J. Romantic-wise, it's getting a bit better, too, so I guess he's probably grateful that part  of me is "coming back" a little at a time, at least. I actually don't feel like abhorring him anymore so I'm grateful that part of me is going away since I did marry the guy :-)

Little P is doing so good she's the cutest little thing in the whole world and I love her with all my being. I get so tired as the night sets in every day though, I pray that God has us ion his good list and sends us the grace so that I can manage to work out soon. It's awkward because she nurses and I feel like a cow, I can get over the cow thing but I'd never nursed a baby before and although it's been going well and I'm thankful for this I resent "being a slave to the pump or the baby" and how I at least should be happy that I can sleep through the night without P wanting to eat anymore. I know I can leave her with a sitter while I work out, but I'd have to pay the sitter, pay the gym fee, or pay the gym fee somewhere where babysitting is also available which is so expensive. Where there's a will there's a way, now I need to find the funds to get this going. I know deep inside this will benefit everyone, right?

At least for now I'm eating a little better, a little more on the side of how mindful I was when I was single and when I was so in tune with what my body wanted instead of what my newborn needs from me...

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