Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Do I blog for me or for an audience?

The question has been in my mind for a while, after I stopped writing and posting a few months ago. In a way I do want others to read what I write, but in another way, I realize there are some individuals who I am not interested in sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings as I know they probably gossip or think worse of me as I "give" more information through this site.

I always wanted the goal of my blog to be that of reaching someone who might be feeling alone, fighting a depression and realize they too will get through it, as I did with others' blogs. I have always wanted to nourish that feeling of kindred spirits no matter the distance. Another goal was to just get things out of my system and maybe receive from comments, or feedback regarding what I had to say.

Maybe what I write hasn't been interesting enough, and serves the purpose of my venting and in a healthy way "let it go", whether it is anger I'm dealing with, or sadness, frustration, mostly those three. Sorry I'm not more cheerful, but hey, this is me, and this is my place :-)

I've considered maybe taking another route, blogging about my cooking and how I still sometimes enjoy that. Or maybe blogging more about being with my daughter, who is now almost 16 months old and what a ride it has been to be her mother so far. Or maybe blog about my second pregnancy, and how different it has been than my first (full term) one. Or blog more about my life growing up (but found out that topic sometimes kindles the fire of resentment and anger and revives the past so, unless I really want to deal with it on top of all else in my life at the present, I decided not to go there). Then I realized I would just keep writing about my every day, like a journal, a dirary, no topic...
Well, in the end, I guess blogging "for me" is really not working, I already do that semi regularly on a real journal by my nightstand. I have realized I enjoy seeing visitors around here, and it bums me when weeks go by and I have one or two visits in a month.  Maybe I'll try again, when I quit my job, or when I am abducted by aliens and my life becomes more pleasant and worth sharing about so I can get more readers, perhaps?

Dear lonely reader, thank you for stopping by!