Monday, May 21, 2012

I'm back!

So the scale won't budge and has stayed between 200 and 192 lbs for the last three months. My second daughter, L. will be 4 months old in two days. I lost 28-30 lbs right after she was born, but even to return to the weight I was (186 lbs)when I got pregnant with her has been a struggle, let alone get back to my comfortable weight (156 lbs) and fitness level from three years ago before my first daughter was born!
My knees, hips, and back hurt and I have just been feeling pretty yucky. I hate being heavy. I hate looking like a whale, but whales are cute and they're supposed to be big. Hate it with a passion. I hate having my clothes in totes. I hate being a size 16, a tight 16, when I was a 6! It brings me down and I eat my feelings in salty snacks or ice cream. Ugh. I hate not liking to have photos taken with my daughters because I am so fat. I hate all fat people and their bullshit: "Oh I am so fat but I am still fit and healthy as an ox." I curse them. And I REFUSE to be one of them.
I tried Atkins for a month, had lost 7 lbs, but was so hungry and miserable, besides my husband protested at the cost of the grocery bill after he spotted a packet of grouper that was a bit too expensive, so that was that.
After pleading to him, especially since my cholesterol results were high back in March and reality has kind of been hitting me, I was able to sign up for the "Boot Camp" (24/7 Fitness in Sioux Falls) and will do 8 weeks. I started "Boot Camp" three weeks ago, somewhat determined to get back on the bandwagon. I'm in week 4 and have not lost a single pound, but have not been meticulous about my diet either. And now I decided I should type about this journey and see how it all unfolds.
So far, I have been taking the GNC Energy for Women vitamin packs and I have to admit I do feel better;  at the workouts, I am able to do a bit  more, but my knees are quite achy since last week and my hips/back are still uncomfortable from the pregnancy, so it's a real challenge to run all what the trainer makes us run, but I was super happy to get ahead of the group this morning!
"Boot Camp" is from 6-7am three times per week and I've been able to do this thanks to my husband, my mom, and my boss. My mom watches the babies for us and my boss has let me change my work hours while my mom is with us so this is awesome and I don't want to let them down. I don't want to quit and I really want to lose this weight so we all can see that our efforts were worth it. But some days it is really hard to get out of bed!
When I was doing the Atkins thing, I had bought a David Kirsch 5 day Ultimate Detox Kit but I had not made up my mind to follow through and the box kept staring at me from the dresser - until now. I talked about it with my husband and my mom and I finally started it this morning. So far so good. I took the Daily Detox shot before my workout along with the Energy Enhancer and Ginko from GNC. After the workout I took the Protein Shake and Super charged Greens. I just finished up the Thermo Bubbles drink, and am getting a bit hungry but will drink some decaf herbal tea until lunch time, when I will have a salad with chicken. For dinner I will have another shake. Rinse and repeat for the next four days. Hopefully my energy is not shot for the workouts on Wednesday and Friday.

I also now apply FatGirlSlim twice a day and LoveHandler lotion once a day, to my family's skeptical giggling, but I will get toned and slim and I don't care if they laugh at me.

Wish me luck!

I purchased the David Kirsch and the FatGirlSlim products on bliss.com

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