Monday, May 23, 2011

for the sake of peace

After being lectured by my husband, I have edited this post bordering in freedom of expression issues but I'm too tired to fight over it.

kitties always make us smile, right?
I wish I knew how the issue was addressed.
I believe this person was actually told that I complained about her attitude and I also believe this hinders and jeopardizes the no-retaliation policy that a workplace must protect and provide its employees. Now, I'm the one who brought the matter to my manager's attention, for the simple reason that lately it appears that anything goes in the workplace. Regardless (or especially)if you have a friendship relationship with a person you met at work, when you're at work there are standards and expectations and we are ALL subjected to them, I don't care who you are, or if someone "triggered it" we are all responsible for keeping our emotions and frustrations in check and therefore, if your behavior is unacceptable, then that's what it should be addressed as. Own it, make amends if you can, and don't blame others for your disrespectful attitude.
Yes, I agree in the general concept of forgive and forget, however there has seemed to be a double standard in place, let me explain:
Let's suppose for a minute that it was me who reacted that way, pointed my finger, yelled and walked way; like I explained to my manager, I would have gotten into a lot of trouble and probably would not have heard the end of it from her and my fellow co-workers, because "how dare I treat dear nice social butterfly lady like that". So, who comes out on my defense? Myself, the good old company handbook, (hopefully) my manager, and the HR people we all may contact when in doubt.
I did receive feedback from my manager, and I appreciate that. I was made aware that in others' point of view, I was yelling as well; I honestly do not recall it that way, and I disputed that. I do believe that I just happened to be the target of the aggression but it probably wasn't intended to be, as it could have been directed at anyone present but it happened to be me because I was right in front of her and I did ask the person to calm down.
Again maybe due to how this whole thing was addressed, I could have lost a friend and although I'm willing to be civil in the workplace, it appears at times that people are not willing to adhere to the courtesy guidelines the company (and maybe society, depending on where you grew up it seems)requires of all of us, and apparently ignoring your co-workers selectively is written between the company handbook's lines as appropriate behavior. Yes, that's what it is! Since EVERYONE does this, ignore co-workers selectively is definitely the way to go and this is how to do it:
-Do not make eye contact or say good morning or goodbye (extend this behavior to your relatives if they happen to be around)
-Don't ever smile at them
-Have a dry even angry look on your face at all times when the selected person is nearby
-Be (super) nice to others, however, skipping the selected individual
Hey, I do it to certain I know how it feels!
I end this post with a smile, noting that we all have stories, we all have good nights and bad mornings, our lives converge and sometimes we can't help it, but if I want to better serve God, I must forgive and forget, and let the other people be, but stand up for myself and justice when my conscience begs me to. That is all I did.

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