Detox day 3, Boot Camp week 4 and update on this year's garden

I have to say I have been hungry these last three days but not starving hungry, so it's OK. I've peed about 4lbs so far, not much to get excited about since I know that's all it is...water and, hopefully, "toxins" that my body is supposed to be getting rid of with the aid of the AM Detox drink, the Super Charged Greens drink and the workouts. Plus I've been sleeping much more, it said on the David Kirsch website that I should rest all I could during the Detox days. Thank God for my mother and husband as they have been on baby duty so I can do this.
I also should note that I am able to play a bit more with my little P., she loves trying the "animal" moves such as bear walk, bunny and froggy jumps, and we've made up the kitty snuggle (where she tries to curl up in a little ball laying on the carpet imitating the cat when he naps).
I will admit I ate my salad with a little bit of balsamic vinaigrette Monday, and I added olive oil to it on Tuesday. Somehow I feel I need some healthy oils on the only meal I can eat! I had chicken Monday and tuna Tuesday, will have tuna again today as that was nice yesterday. Needless to say, I really look forward to my lunch!
I did break and ate a few prunes and almonds Tuesday afternoon and only a few prunes Monday afternoon. I hope I can go without today. It has been pretty hard, but I keep telling myself "It's already hump day, almost over, no different than a bad work week! You probably won't need coffee or sugary stuff in your life at all after Friday!" But the Pub mix snack won't be so lucky, I really like salty snacks :-/ hence all the water retention...
However, today's workout wasn't the best, I was so tired during the last stretch and since we were inside the gym, I was disgusted every time I caught a glimpse of my reflection in all the mirrors, pretty self defeating. I tried to think all kinds of positive thoughts, like "that roll you see is getting blasted with this move" or "if you keep trying to lift yourself when you're this heavy, how easy it will be when you get lighter", but I don't think they worked much. Oh well, there's always the next workout to try and be better, right?

In other news, the garden's looking fantastic. J. helped me make it a larger area (90 sq ft now), by consolidating the original two "little" patches, we put in some pavers to separate the plant sections and so that I can step inside to plant/weed/harvest throughout the season. He also helped me surround it with chicken wire to keep our tenant the bunny out and he helped me cover the strawberry corner so the birdies don't get to them, moved the compost bin closer to the patch, and has been saving grass clippings when he mowes the lawn so I can mulch the plants. I think he is as excited as I am this year, after all his hard work. He asks me if he needs to water every night and he takes the kitchen scraps to the bin. I can't wait until our first harvest!

This year we have the following plants:
3 tomate verde plants (so excited about these!)
1 purple Cheyenne tomato
1 Juliet Roma (grape) tomato
1 cherry tomato
2 cucumber
2 sequoia strawberry
1 white something strawberry
2 Anaheim pepper
2 Serrano pepper
1 green bell pepper
4 red bell pepper
1 giant jalapeno pepper
2 black queen eggplant

We started from seed:
watermelon (3 seedlings have sprouted)
corn (several seedlings have sprouted)
rainbow mix carrots (several seedlings have sprouted)



Perennials:
asparagus (planted it last year, and we already ate a few earlier this spring)
mint (third year with it in garden)
purslane is coming back again this year, I guess the little seeds that fell from the plants that came up last year were enough for it to resurrect :-)

Annual herbs:
thyme
basil

As you can see, I tried to experiment with new plants this year, but I'm still scared to try with squashes (they had root rot the two previous years), green beans, peas and such. I also would love to have lettuces again but I don't want to crowd the existing plants like I did a couple years ago and I felt overwhelmed.
I really would like to have turnips, parsnips, and kohlrabi without the slugs getting to them on the leaves and the earwigs and other bugs on the roots so I think I should do those in a container. Maybe when Luci is older and Pia doesn't run into the street like a crazy little goat...I just feel like either I should tend to the garden or watch them and play with them, but can't do both!

I'm back!

So the scale won't budge and has stayed between 200 and 192 lbs for the last three months. My second daughter, L. will be 4 months old in two days. I lost 28-30 lbs right after she was born, but even to return to the weight I was (186 lbs)when I got pregnant with her has been a struggle, let alone get back to my comfortable weight (156 lbs) and fitness level from three years ago before my first daughter was born!
My knees, hips, and back hurt and I have just been feeling pretty yucky. I hate being heavy. I hate looking like a whale, but whales are cute and they're supposed to be big. Hate it with a passion. I hate having my clothes in totes. I hate being a size 16, a tight 16, when I was a 6! It brings me down and I eat my feelings in salty snacks or ice cream. Ugh. I hate not liking to have photos taken with my daughters because I am so fat. I hate all fat people and their bullshit: "Oh I am so fat but I am still fit and healthy as an ox." I curse them. And I REFUSE to be one of them.
I tried Atkins for a month, had lost 7 lbs, but was so hungry and miserable, besides my husband protested at the cost of the grocery bill after he spotted a packet of grouper that was a bit too expensive, so that was that.
After pleading to him, especially since my cholesterol results were high back in March and reality has kind of been hitting me, I was able to sign up for the "Boot Camp" (24/7 Fitness in Sioux Falls) and will do 8 weeks. I started "Boot Camp" three weeks ago, somewhat determined to get back on the bandwagon. I'm in week 4 and have not lost a single pound, but have not been meticulous about my diet either. And now I decided I should type about this journey and see how it all unfolds.
So far, I have been taking the GNC Energy for Women vitamin packs and I have to admit I do feel better;  at the workouts, I am able to do a bit  more, but my knees are quite achy since last week and my hips/back are still uncomfortable from the pregnancy, so it's a real challenge to run all what the trainer makes us run, but I was super happy to get ahead of the group this morning!
"Boot Camp" is from 6-7am three times per week and I've been able to do this thanks to my husband, my mom, and my boss. My mom watches the babies for us and my boss has let me change my work hours while my mom is with us so this is awesome and I don't want to let them down. I don't want to quit and I really want to lose this weight so we all can see that our efforts were worth it. But some days it is really hard to get out of bed!
When I was doing the Atkins thing, I had bought a David Kirsch 5 day Ultimate Detox Kit but I had not made up my mind to follow through and the box kept staring at me from the dresser - until now. I talked about it with my husband and my mom and I finally started it this morning. So far so good. I took the Daily Detox shot before my workout along with the Energy Enhancer and Ginko from GNC. After the workout I took the Protein Shake and Super charged Greens. I just finished up the Thermo Bubbles drink, and am getting a bit hungry but will drink some decaf herbal tea until lunch time, when I will have a salad with chicken. For dinner I will have another shake. Rinse and repeat for the next four days. Hopefully my energy is not shot for the workouts on Wednesday and Friday.

I also now apply FatGirlSlim twice a day and LoveHandler lotion once a day, to my family's skeptical giggling, but I will get toned and slim and I don't care if they laugh at me.

Wish me luck!

I purchased the David Kirsch and the FatGirlSlim products on bliss.com

Didn't make my wallet fatter but...

at least the stress level went a bit down.


My wallet...





See, when you share your troubles with your loved ones they seem to take responsibility for whatever is troubling you if it affects them. So I am thankful that I at least was heard and since I asked for help, I was open to solutions. I can't say our problems are fixed but at least I feel we are more of a team now than we were before I reached out for help.

We still have to get caught up and I don't know how long that will take, with a baby on the way and a toddler to be 11 and a half month old at home. See I know we can trim more fat from our monthly expenses, but imagine if we didn't already try to conserve as much as we can? We do all this:

• We hardly ever eat out, which means 98% of our meals are at home,
• we cloth diaper, we line dry most of our clothes,
• we've been driving less,
• we bring our own coffe/tea to work,
• we sack our lunches,
• we put the gym on hold,
• we're selling one of the cars (If you're interested in the Jetta, let me know!),
• we have a vegetable garden (which I hope will give us good veggies this year, if the rabbit stops eating my broccoli),
• we live in a very modest small house, which means our mortgage payment is rather low,
• I made the baby's food when she started solids, and all she eats now are homemade meals and snacks, but she stopped nursing at 10 months so we compensate with formula, so that added an expense
• we shop at Sam's for some things and other things at the grocery store with shopping lists, and an awareness of how much money we have available for food-grocery items,
• we recycle and get reward points for it, then I trade some points for baby food items or "green" house cleaning supplies,
• we are mindful of our energy, water, and gas use, and monitor how much it increases or decreases month to month and the factors that lead to these fluctuations
• we don't shop, window shop, or internet shop, unless it's for necessary items (i.e. diaper soap or diaper covers, which we'll keep using with next baby, so expense pays for itself after the first 7 or 9 days of not using disposable diapers)

We've concluded that what takes most of our money away are the "second class necessary" payments, such as:

• student loan,
• cell phones (we don't have a land line and we do have one of the lowest rate family plans,
• I've been considering switching to Magic Jack and shut the cell phone out or use a pay as yo go phone but I'm not convinced yet),
• credit card 'pay-down',
• an old hospital bill,
• internet (again we carry the lowest rate service),
• Dish (we hate it and we're in the process of downgrading the plan until we can cancel the service without shelling out the $200 fee if cancelled before the contract expires).

These are the most significant mone busters in our life. And we're working on eliminating them or at least reducing some of their costs.

We still are commited to our emergency fund and put money in it every month, and at work we automatically contribute to our retirement accounts, but I'd like to do more since my contribution was cut 50% when I went part time without the possibility to contribute the difference to my IRA Roth outside work due to our other expenses.

I still worry a bit about our money situation, but I know now that I'm not alone, I just hope we keep talking about this and not fall into the 'ignoring is better pattern' we were in up until a few weeks ago.

What do you all do to "save money" or better said "not spend more than you need"?

oh the drama, and I let it get to me

What a rush. We must be addicts to feeling lousy, or to the reaction or rise we get from others when we treat them like shit. I know I fell for it, like the recovering alcoholic I am... I got my fix of adrenaline from the anger I felt, after "letting" her use me as her dart board. Hook, line, and sinker...she lured me, I bit, and then she reeled me in, chewed me and spat me out. And since it seems we're all in kindergarten and dysfunctional individuals, with zero sense of accountability she proceeded to justify her low blow and blame me for having been rude to me. As the codependent old me, I felt like an idiot "because of her".
Please don't feel bad for me though. I did initially express my dissatisfaction assertively, and in a healthy and workplace appropriate way tried to establish a boundary. Then the rage was stronger. I did honestly wish for her day to get better, I'm sure it did after vomiting poison all around her.

What a great start of my week. What a blessing having a job is, right? We get to be around such healthy and inspiring individuals and their joy is so contagious. I would like to scream. Mornings like today and I want to scream, I can't take it anymore. What saved me was my self awareness, I chose to stop the thread and not drag the drama into my home, I chose not to be mean with my family, I chose to be honest, open and loving, I chose to go on and do what I need to do, to care for those I love and to feel their love. I chose to be a better me.
Hey I'm still on the road, I don't know when I'll get there...freedom is health, spiritual bliss, peace, love, hope.